Welcome to Talk of the Toon, if you are a member then log in and get talking about the Toon, if your not then get signed up and join us!
Latest topics
» where is everyone
Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:08 pm by geordie696

» David Ginola hurt in ski accident
Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:00 am by 1892NUFF

» Cool Cisse felt no pressure
Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:44 am by Fruity

» Taylor in clear, Best out for weeks
Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:42 am by Fruity

» Did he or Didn't he?
Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:39 am by Fruity

» Nice to see you back up running
Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:38 am by Fruity

» Netherlands keeper Tim Krul happy at Newcastle United
Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:43 am by 1892NUFF

» Newcastle push to get pair out of Africa
Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:26 pm by 1892NUFF

» Team news: Coloccini could miss Brighton trip
Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:24 pm by 1892NUFF

» Pardew ponders delving into Championship pool
Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:07 am by 1892NUFF

Log in

I forgot my password


Newcastle United to sell Ashley for £100 Million

Go down

Newcastle United to sell Ashley for £100 Million

Post  Guest on Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:09 pm

Newcastle United want to make football history by selling their chairman for £100m, writes Crispin Fisher.

It is understood two newly promoted clubs have already expressed an interest in Ashley, who will be allowed to leave The Magpies in the summer if he can be squeezed through the doors at St James’s Park.

Former billionaire Ashley is not impressed by the idea of being sold off. He said: “Some fans are so ungrateful, I’ve given this club blood, sweat and tears – and that was just by holding on to Joey Barton.”

“I’m worth twice the £100m they want for me. If Ronaldo is worth £75m I’m almost three times the size of that skinny girl.”

Newcastle fans have been quick to talk up Ashley’s credentials in order to attract a buyer. Out of Toon Fanzine editor Dale Pratt said: “Mike has got everything you would want from a chairman – cash, enthusiasm and very little common sense. Who wouldn’t want him?”

Newly promoted Norwich City are rumoured to be keen on Ashley. Canaries fans are desperate to offload current chairman Delia Smith after her drunken rant in 2006.

Fellow Premier League new boys Swansea are also looking to replace Huw Jenkins with a chairman who can shut the fuck up for five minutes.

But West Brom are currently favourites to land Ashley. It is understood the sports retail giant would prefer a move to a team with dark and white striped shirts because of their figure-enhancing qualities.

Money from the sale will be reinvested in Newcastle’s ravaged infrastructure.

Toilet paper will be reinstated in the female toilets at St James’s Park. But there are no plans to refurbish the disused trophy cabinet.


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum